Do Dating Sites Send Fake Messages?

A reality for your relationship might be that you and a partner share your mobile devices, divulge passwords and social network details, even check in on the other’s email. 

There are no secrets, only express trust, and there has never been a reason for doubt. But when messages start to appear in the inbox from dating sites, including Tinder, that seems legitimate; doubt starts to creep in. 

Isn’t it unusual for a popular dating site to just send out fake messages? Wouldn’t a person have to be a member for the platform to be able to send something to that individual? Not necessarily. Let’s look at dating site scams a bit more in-depth.

Dating sites, fake messages and emails

It is true that usually, you would need to be a member of a dating site, especially a legitimate platform, to receive messages and emails about promotions, discounts, or whether you receive chats or matches on with the network. 

Even if you haven’t used the app in a while, if the website has your information on file, they can possibly send you occasional promotions, including those that say you have a match, in an effort to get you back as an active participant. It doesn’t matter if you’re deactivated or canceled as a member. 

That can be unfortunate if a partner sees the messages and jumps to conclusions. Further disconcerting is when you’ve never been on a dating site, but you receive emails from what appear to be the authentic platforms, indicating you have matches waiting with your account. 

How is that possible? How do you convince a significant other that these are unsolicited, that you don’t participate with any apps? Let’s look at ways these emails make it into your inbox.

When private contact details are sold

Regardless of what you might sign on or register for, ordering products or services, doing a survey for someone you do business with, a home or auto purchase, your private contact details are recorded. 

That will include a mobile number and your email, which are enough to identify you, allowing anyone to be able to contact you.

The businesses that gather these details have the capacity to sell the data if they so choose to other companies as a marketing strategy. It seems harmless since most people enjoy the opportunity to join in an event or receive an additional discount or promotion. 

But the fun ends when the wrong sort of business sends an invitation for you to take advantage of their opportunities. Because what are you to say when a dating app appears in your folder and a partner wants to know why you’re on a dating site? 

It’s challenging to disprove when these are legitimate companies but are they? Look at the URL and all other discerning details. You’ll likely see these don’t lead back to Tinder or any other well-known app.

Is someone sabotaging you?

You have to be exceptionally cautious about who you allow having access to your email address. When people don’t want to be inundated with spam or unsolicited offers, they will register or sign up for services using someone else’s email. 

Doing so also saves the individual the headache of a partner seeing them participating on a dating app. It’s almost as if your email serves as a cover. Since some of the less reputable companies won’t do a verification process for the email, these thieves are able to get away with the charades.

If it appears your email address could possibly be stolen, you might want to sign on for a new account. That is a major hassle, especially if you use it for business, but people can create a significant problem when using your email for unsavory purposes.

Your partner signed on for the dating app 

Partners need to be able to trust each other. When that’s broken, the foundation of the relationship is cracked, leaving the partnership at risk for damage. Seeing emails from a dating app makes people question their partner’s faithfulness and loyalty.

It’s always suggested to give the individual the benefit of the doubt, allowing an explanation, having a vulnerable discussion, and attempting to work through the issue. The problem in this circumstance is if the dating app is registered with your email, and you regularly get spam notifications. 

One of those includes the fact that your significant other has just signed on as a new member. Now, you’re receiving emails letting you know that your partner is set and ready to go with recent matches.

Did you forget about that app – accidentally

Nowadays, the dating scene is virtual. When two people initially meet, it’s generally on a dating app. The couple will message for a brief period and then meet to establish a dating cycle, eventually either becoming exclusive or going back to the app to start again.

When there’s a decision to be exclusive and develop a commitment, usually the partners will have a sort of celebration, if you will, by deleting their dating app profiles together. 

That doesn’t mean that each person is entirely honest and discloses all their profiles or deletes everyone sincerely in case something happens with the partnership. 

Still, after an extended time together, it’s important to remember to go back and handle that. That’s especially true if you’ll be sharing devices, divulging social network details, or potentially reading the other’s emails because this will become a question with messages appearing in your inbox. You’ll need to be prepared with an explanation.

It’s somewhat difficult to say you forgot you had it or it didn’t cross your mind after such a long time. You’ll be receiving these messages keeping the site relatively fresh in your mind or at least giving you a periodic reminder.

What to do if you find scam messages from dating sites in your partner’s inbox?

In the digital world, everyone is aware of scams, spam, and hackers attempting to dial into people’s information constantly. It’s with a mobile number, email, and even with snail mail; there’s no escaping the calls, texts, or correspondence, regardless of how private we attempt to be.

It’s virtually impossible to remain private. You would need to be nearly off the grid entirely to not have the information somewhere for someone to buy or sell. 

The indication is that everyone needs credit to survive adequately in the world. In order to get the credit, you need to register or sign on for the varied deals and promotions. 

When registering, these companies are allowed to take your mobile number and email to sell to other companies to establish a marketing strategy. One of them could very well be a dating app or perhaps intercepted by a scammer.

That means you could have a history utterly free of dating apps, but you’ll receive these spam messages because your information was sold to them. Once one receives your details, they will pass them on to others, so soon, you’ll be inundated with spam emails. 

Would you believe them if a partner’s email inbox is packed with messages from dating apps. But they insist they’ve never participated with the sites sending the messages?

The only way to handle a situation like this is to ask yourself if your boyfriend has ever given you a reason to doubt them, stepped outside of the partnership, or even flirted shamelessly with other people. Or, perhaps they keep their mobile and email accounts hidden from you. 

When you say none of those things are true, it’s time to have a conversation and find a way to get the spam to stop. Sometimes that means changing everything to new. That includes creating a fresh email account and even getting a unique mobile number. 

It’s a hassle, and no one likes to start over, especially if everything is tied to a business. Still, the hassle is worth it if there is any possibility for these scammers to create a major problem for your life, lifestyle, career, and partnership.


Sometimes a snake is just that . . . a snake. A partner could very well be enjoying dating you plus seeing what else is out there with secret dating accounts that you find messages for in their inbox but telling you these are spam emails.

On the other hand, and in all likelihood, if a mate comes off immediately expressing that these are spam and they’ve given you no reason to doubt them, a scammer has perhaps gotten hold of their details through a number of different avenues. 

The only way to discern between the two is to communicate what you’ve found and follow your instincts. Generally, snakes are extremely telling with their body language and facial expressions. Guilt is often something you can read readily and with clarity.

Still, be receptive to the explanation in case your partner is being truthful. You always want to give the benefit of the doubt because you would expect no less if the tables were turned. 

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About Lotibima Writing Staff

With a team of expert writers in different domains, we spend a lot of time doing in-depth research before writing and editing, so, the reader gets the most of our tips and tricks from authors who know how to fix common issues with modern technologies.

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