Unfortunately, many variables go into how often two people should be in contact during their time apart. We’re going to assume these are young singletons with busy careers and no children.
That eliminates much need for conversation throughout a workday. In many cases, mobiles are not even allowed in sight at places of employment without repercussions, and no one wants to jeopardize a career to soothe insecurities.
That being said, it’s realistic to presume that these individuals each work a five-day work schedule that renders a roughly 9 am to 5 pm shift for many people.
It would be reasonable for mates to expect to see a “good morning” upon waking, and that should be mutual, as in whoever wakes up first sends the message.
The responsibility should never fall to one or the other gender. If it’s a mutual adult relationship from this century, each person should be equal in their efforts; in other words, if you’re awake, text and say “hello.”
There’s something to be said for shared communication. It’s the key to a thriving partnership, and this is something that is never one-sided, nor is it merely receive and no give.
If you hope for success with your current mate, you should never base a relationship or the partner’s emotions on whether they like you on the quantity or amount of times that you receive a text.
The critical component is the quality of these messages, phone conversations, and time you spend together in real-time.
Signs texting in your partnership is healthy even if its only once a day
How often you should text at the beginning of a relationship is entirely subjective. There are so many variables to base the number of times an individual is capable of text in a given day.
Some mates might only have the capacity to reach out once each day, but what matters most is how that text makes you feel, whether it be worthy and fulfilled or confused and disrespected.
A relationship won’t be able to thrive without some consistency in conversations; there will be challenges in establishing a viable connection.
A good morning with no other engagement will not allow feelings to develop, nor will one-word replies with no follow-up feedback to questions.
Learning effective communication is a key component of a healthy, strong relationship. If you struggle with this in the beginning, that speaks volumes for where you’re headed down the road.
Let’s see that you’re on the right path with texting, even if it is only once per day.
Texting is not done obsessively
While some mates are dissatisfied with only receiving one text per day, sometimes that’s all a mate can do with a hectic schedule.
Texting for an entire day, each day can be fun, especially when just starting a partnership, but that’s not something anyone can sustain, and it’s indicative of codependence instead of a growing interest.
When someone is able to “overly text,” it should actually be a red flag causing you to question what’s happening in their life that allows this kind of freedom.
Do they have individual interests or hobbies they should be enjoying or a job where these habits are disallowed?
It’s also curious why someone would prefer to text so much instead of speaking over the mobile or waiting until a date to hold these conversations.
Above all else, texts can so easily be misinterpreted. When you’re trying to get to know a new person, it’s vital to spend more time in person and keep the messages limited to get an authentic picture of the one you hope to develop a connection with.
- Related: How to stop spam calls on landline
Mutual initiation of text communication
When you fail to reach out to a mate a few times and suddenly realize you didn’t hear from them either, do you know that you’ve been the one putting forth all the effort in initiating communication?
It can be eye-opening when you recognize there’s a break in the connection. No one wants to be the only person growing the partnership, nor do you want to wonder if this person would have “ghosted” if you had not continued with your efforts.
It’s worth the wait for someone who will be mutual each day in taking their turn to start a conversation and holding their own throughout the entire discussion; in other words, there is not just a mere “k” response.
There is a degree of emotional depth in each discussion
In a strong, healthy partnership, there is chemistry when you’re together in real-time and when you can’t be together, whether on the mobile, social media, or via texting.
If your communication styles are different, where one of you is an avid texter, but the other one doesn’t like it, the chemistry will be off. It will likely not work unless you each make a bit of an effort to understand the differences and come to a compromise.
Once you grow to understand a mate’s texting style and that once is likely all that you might get along with possible one-word answers, it will help prevent the potential for misunderstandings relating to where you stand as a couple.
Consistency and quality are where it’s at
When establishing a connection, you should hear from your partner consistently. Depending on the mate, that can be several times a day, or it could be a very few times a week.
What matters is that it’s predictable, and the quality is always there. If your new significant other doesn’t like to text, you might be able to discuss a compromise where one time per day or a couple of times a week can turn into a few more. The idea is to communicate and work things out as a couple.
Changing habits when they become unhealthy
If you’re someone who waits by the phone for a text nervously and anxiously, but you’re with a mate who dislikes texting and prefers only once per day to simply make plans or answer a question, it can be a recipe for stress, aggravation, and bickering (to say the least.)
You should be aware and confident that the mate will reach out. Still, as an equal part of the relationship, if you feel uneasy, you have the capacity to initiate contact with the partner to make sure everything is okay.
- Another good article to read: Why does a guy turn his phone Off?
If the relationship thus far has proven healthy and the texting is consistent, albeit not entirely to your satisfaction, there should be no questions. The problem is when you start to overthink things, which can be detrimental to even a strong bond.
Overthinking can be relatively common and anticipated in the initial stages of a union. These stressors typically don’t last if the relationship is good, passing relatively fast. If you can’t get it out of your system, the partnership was likely not ideal from the start.
What can you do about the lazy texter?
When you’re in the beginning stages of a partnership, it’s essential to determine the texting style of the person you’re dating.
Some people don’t like to text and will only do so when there are plans to set up or answer if you ask a question or perhaps offer a good morning. The most you’ll likely get from this person is one text per day.
The important thing is how the mate makes you feel, not necessarily with texting but with every other component of communication and the quality of their time with you in real-time.
It shouldn’t matter the quantity or number of texts you receive on a given day if someone makes you happy and fulfilled in every other aspect of the relationship.
If, however, texting is a vital component of your life, a necessary form of communication for you, one that you rely on heavily, you might want to move on to someone who can provide the level you require to make you content.
- Keep reading: Signs of a fake dating account
The thing to pay attention for is someone who has endless amounts of time to send messages. That could be a problem on the whole other end of the spectrum.
You could receive too many texts and wonder why this mate doesn’t have any sort of life of their own.
Getting it exactly the way you prefer isn’t always easy. Sometimes you need to compromise.
Many variables play into how often someone should be texting another person. When it’s two singletons starting a new relationship together with no kids, it might seem they have all the time in the world to spend messaging back and forth.
Still, that depends on careers, individual hobbies, interests, friends, and personal opinions on texting as a form of communication.
Some people prefer speaking directly via mobile or in-person since texts can often be misinterpreted, especially when learning a new person.
Plus, generally, places of employment frown upon mobile use with repercussions at the very sight of a device. That leaves minimal opportunity to share messages except for a morning wake-up call and a “goodnight” before bed.
The issue should genuinely not be in keeping a count of the number of times a mate reaches out but more so how engaging they are when they do so.
If you only receive a single message each day, but it’s a fulfilling conversation, the partnership should progress steadily towards reaching a healthy goal.