When a husband deletes texts from a female coworker, most spouses will construe that in only one way. That is unless you have a degree of faith and trust in your partner plus a communicative relationship.
If that’s the case, you should be able to ask the direct question and be satisfied with the answer that you’re given.
One thing that matters in this scenario is whether the husband is actually hiding the mobile. Plus, the fact he’s receiving messages and then deleting them quickly before they can be found. Or perhaps he’s not giving the messages a second thought since they’re from a coworker finding them unimportant.
The circumstances matter. You can’t automatically jump to conclusions until you genuinely know what those are. One curious thing is if a husband allows his spouse to use his phone or have access to the point the person is aware of text messages from a female coworker being deleted, is he really hiding anything? Let’s learn together why a husband might choose to delete messages from a female coworker.
Why would a husband delete messages received from a female colleague?
Most people today use their mobile for everything, including maintaining business contacts and conducting business around the clock if necessary, due to the varied time zones of clients, vendors, and parent organizations.
That can mean receiving messages at any given moment. These don’t always have to be work-related with the potential for friendships to develop, given the time colleagues spend together during a workday.
And yes, workplace romances often develop, as do affairs. That’s something that can grow to be a significant concern with couples depending on the career circumstances each partner is involved with.
- Read also: How to get to know your coworkers
Jealousy arises readily when two people work exceptionally close on projects, particularly if these go late into the evening and flow over into the weekend. Then text messages start going back and forth between the colleagues that are abruptly deleted by the husband.
The behavior sends an immediate instinct to the spouse that there is more happening than work with the late night meetings and weekend lunch sessions. Why else would someone delete messages from their phone from a coworker as quickly as they come in.
What is he hiding? Is he hiding anything at all? How can you make that determination if you don’t really know the full circumstances? It’s genuinely not fair to jump to conclusions without having a direct conversation.
It could be entirely innocent. Let’s examine why your husband might delete his female coworker’s text messages.
Privacy is your husband’s primary reason for deleting a coworker’s messages
If a female coworker is messaging your husband and he’s finding it necessary to delete these, a primary reason is likely for privacy purposes. The thought process is you will likely search the messages.
He prefers these not to be available to someone else since the conversations hold confidential information. The individual needed to talk with someone but didn’t want the details to get out to other people.
Colleagues can have a bond of friendship where they share intimate private details of things happening in each other’s lives in order to get much-needed advice. That doesn’t mean the two are having an affair or desire to do so.
They likely have a great deal of respect and appreciation for each other’s opinions and the fact that they’re married.
This is not something you should choose to brood about. You should absolutely approach your husband directly about the messages and the fact it bothers you. In the ideal situation, you’ll get the whole story.
While it’s not ideal to have your husband having intimate conversations with another woman, his being forthright with what’s happening is a positive. But perhaps he can be encouraged to tell his friend to find someone more appropriate to have the discussions with – firmly.
Flirtatious texts are deleted from a coworker
Even as the spouse of the person responsible for deleting texts, you have to admit you enjoy the notion of being flirted with. Just because you get married doesn’t mean you don’t want to feel as though people, in general, find you to be a vibrant, attractive, intelligent person.
And when they make these observations, it doesn’t mean you’re going to engage in an affair with each of these individuals, but it certainly boosts your ego, even if it’s just someone passing you by and giving you a sweet smile.
Perhaps in the instance of your husband deleting what could be a female coworker’s flirtatious text messages, he’s sparing you from believing something is happening between the two of them when there certainly is not.
Still, he’s not necessarily dissuading the attention because it’s making him feel good. He might even be indulging in the game a bit himself to see if he’s still got a little “game.”
If it were to go beyond the point of harmless flirtation, there would be a sincere reason to be angry. But if you trust that your husband is faithful and loyal and you know that you, despite your secret affinity for attention, are trustworthy and reliable, it’s genuinely merely a head game.
The new colleague is an ex partner
What are the odds? When working for a previous employer, your husband got involved with a colleague and ended up having a long-term partnership. Things eventually didn’t work out, and the two separated.
Because they’re still in the exact location and in the same work industry, there was the possibility for this to happen. Still, there’s every possibility to keep things professional since the two of you are married, and the relationship was long ago.
The two of them are working very closely together as the leader in the business assigned your husband as her mentor until she learns the ropes. The problem is the ex has not wholly gotten beyond the old feelings and persists in reaching out to her ex-partner to see if he might have any feelings left after all this time.
Instead of having you upset by something that means nothing to him, he continues to delete the message and insists with the coworker that she stop harassing him this way, or he will report the issue and ask that she be removed from the team.
When you discover this person is your husband’s ex and that he’s deleting messages, your automatic thought is he’s cheating. Instead of leaving you with those thoughts, he explains the whole situation.
Rather than upset you further, he removes himself from that particular team at work and goes to a different sector. It’s all about effective communication.
The text messages are evidence of an affair
The number one reason a man would be deleting messages received from a female colleague is that they have become embroiled in a physical affair. These are among the top reasons for cheating in the country because of the significant time people spend together during the work week.
There’s genuinely more time spent with coworkers than there is (awake) with a partner, especially when you consider longer days, overtime for projects or deadlines, business meetings, and work events.
These relationships become quite close, with bonds developing over the course of the time spent together, which for some equates to many years. If the individuals allow conversations to become intimate with overly personal details about their lives, emotions come into the mix. That’s when lines begin to get crossed.
Perhaps, you attempt to have a conversation about the messages and find out why these are deleted so abruptly when you see them on the mobile. But, there are either empty excuses or defensiveness.
- Read next: Things to do when a guy ignores your texts
That’s the time for a confrontation. You don’t need to sit idly by while your spouse sneaks around behind your back having an affair with a coworker. In a constructive situation, the man will leave the home until the two of you can collect your thoughts and make decisions on how to proceed with what’s occurring. He should do so with little fuss.
It’s genuinely tough to discern which scenario you’re dealing with if you find text messages from a female coworker on your husband’s phone and then find them abruptly deleted.
The priority is to not instantly jump to conclusions, especially if you have a healthy relationship, enjoying a happy, fulfilling life. Not many people can say that, and not too many people could fake that. If he were unhappy and dissatisfied, it would show.
As in any situation, the immediate first step is direct communication. What that reveals will decide the course of action. If anyone knows a man, it’s their spouse. Instincts are often quite faithful. Trust yours, and then navigate from there.
Needless to say, the only person, in the end, you need to value and be true to, is you. If there is a betrayal, remember your worth and stand your ground in removing yourself from the unhealthy situation.