When a boyfriend keeps you a secret on social media, that’s vastly different than maintaining an air of privacy in your relationship.
Sometimes one or both people in a partnership will prefer to keep the nuances of the relationship strictly between the two of them. That’s instead of sharing it with close friends, family, or the whole of the social network.
That doesn’t mean they don’t want to let people know they’re dating or even committed. It just means they value their privacy. It isn’t at all the same as a secret.
Secrets can become complicated and appear deceitful, eventually leading to problems in romantic partnerships.
But when a girlfriend is expected to keep the fact that she’s in a relationship with a guy, it would be worth a conversation to “educate” on the meaning behind the deception to decide if you genuinely want to be a party to it.
Let’s examine how a mate might potentially validate themselves for their secrecy.
Why would a boyfriend keep his partner a secret on social media?
Some people don’t want the world to know about their private business. Some partners find it necessary to broadcast on social networks every detail of their romantic life, the good and the bad.
This is simply a part of our new culture. These individuals mean well, but private mates will have none of it.
What we’re talking about is entirely different. However, some boyfriends want their girlfriends to hide the fact that they see each other altogether from social media and keep it a secret.
If we were to look at that from the outside in, it seems from the surface that he’s keeping something from his partner. It’s like hiding a phone from the partner for suspicious reasons.
But in all fairness, nothing is ever as it seems, nor should anyone take things at face value. If put through a natural thought process, there are numerous reasons someone might want to lie low for a bit, and understandably so.
Out of respect for a new dating partner, as time progresses and things grow more serious, the secrecy can become stressful. It can become more challenging still to keep the partnership from the public eye, even on the social network.
Why are you even keeping it going this long? Why might a man find it comforting to keep his new girlfriend hidden? Let’s learn.
A previous relationship very recently ended
Sometimes new partnerships come along at a time when people least expect it or prefer it to happen. We can’t control fate. When you meet a particular person who brings life to your spirit, you’re at fate’s mercy.
Unfortunately, if you are straight out of a break-up where feelings are still unhealed and tender, you don’t want to hurt your ex further by displaying a new relationship so soon.
That’s respectable and respectful. Any new person entering this guy’s life would understand the situation and hopefully allow the time and space needed before things can comfortably be “published,” if you will.
If you were to look at it from a negative standpoint, you could believe that the boyfriend still has feelings for his ex and is merely biding his time until she takes him back. It’s a thought. If the boyfriend hides your relationship in front of the public or on the Internet, that’s because he has a previous relationship that interferes with yours.
The gentleman has a case of commitment phobia
This is one of the most common reasons for keeping a relationship secret. The fear of commitment is a legitimate problem for many people, not only men. That doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t want to be with you or that he’ll never come to terms with the fear.
It means that in the present moment, splashing the details of the partnership all over social networking is an indication of commitment he’s not ready for yet.
When that point comes, the boyfriend fears that it will speak to everyone that the relationship is much more serious than it actually has become, creating overwhelm for him.
It’s not the best reason for hiding a partner or a relationship. If a guy is that afraid, should he even be seeing someone?
Close friends and family influence dating choices
If your man is hiding you from the public, there could be a simple explanation you might not be considering. Some guys come from a family with stringent conservative views. So the parents have strong opinions on who their children need to date. You might go against that “mold.”
While there is plenty of room to be offended, there is also a place for empathy and compassion for what a partner has to endure with these restrictions placed on them by family members.
It’s essential to understand the choices and decisions your boyfriend needs to make in an effort to respect family obligations but also prevent compromising his own sense of self.
The question in this scenario is how long you will need to stay hidden, especially if the two of you become serious. At some point, a tough choice and a difficult conversation will need to be had. Meantime, if the man hides you like his dating profiles, that won’t help make the relationship stronger and healthy.
Do you work together
In the case of the two of you working together, workplace romances are usually strongly discouraged. That means a partnership that develops has to be kept hidden. Or there could be repercussions, including the potential for losing your position. That’s especially true if the behavior is entirely prohibited.
When it comes to a career, it’s wise to make sure nothing gets leaked, at least until there’s a certainty that you want to make a sacrifice. Once things grow serious, if you see a future for the partnership, then you can determine if one or both of you will change jobs for the benefit of the relationship.
A company romance is tough to keep under wraps. You have to be entirely professional on the job without interaction if you have no business together. Plus, avoid letting anyone, including close friends, in on the details because you can’t control other people’s ability to keep a secret.
There might be children involved
This might be something you don’t find out right away or at all, particularly if you don’t become a serious couple. Many people who have children choose to keep their kids out of their dating life.
That can make the request to hide the partnership seem confusing and complicate the new relationship. Still, when someone appears sincere, there might need to be some latitude, at least until there’s more of a serious undertone to the partnership.
At that point, it will be fair to dig deeper for answers. And usually, by then, a parent will be more in a position to bring you into their child’s life. It’s vital to a child’s security that no one who will merely slip right back out, comes into their life.
Parents make a point of ensuring that doesn’t happen. If that means losing people they really like, they’ll make that sacrifice.
The guy is playing the field, but you’re unaware of that
When a boyfriend asks that you keep your dating life off the social network, you’re well within your means to ask questions. Most people with a legitimate reason will appear sincere with their reasoning even if they don’t always give you a full explanation. Then some entirely skirt the issue, revealing nothing.
While these are indeed not considered to be a common occurrence, some men want to hide their new girlfriend for ulterior motives. In these specific instances, these guys are doing so because they have another one or two people they’re seeing, and they don’t want those mates to find out about you.
If you think things are growing serious or the two of you are exclusive, and he won’t come clean about his secrecy, break your silence.
You have nothing to lose personally except your feelings once you find out the real reason for the guy hiding you from the spotlight. You’ll merely wish you had pushed the issue sooner to avoid participating further in his antics.
If these guys can string you along, they will take advantage of the situation for as long as possible. These are the kinds of secrets no partner wants to be involved with, the ones we spoke of at the start, where there’s a feeling the guy’s hiding something.
It would be best if you went with your gut. If you think something’s not right, sometimes it’s true.
Secrets and privacy are two very different things. If a partner indicates they prefer privacy, that means keeping the nuances of your relationship between the two of you instead of splashing it all over the social networks. Still, it’s okay to go ahead and share the joy of being together.
When a boyfriend says he wants to keep the partnership a secret and hide you as part of his life from the social network altogether, this warrants a discussion.
There can be numerous legitimate reasons for his secrecy, all of which you should be able to understand, relate to, and work with. However, when it comes time for a serious commitment, most reasons will need to be reevaluated, and your partner will need to make some life decisions.