Why do Married Men Join and Use Dating Sites Secretly?

Is there any reason for guys to go on dating sites when in a relationship? And what can you do to find out their secret accounts in one place? And most importantly, what’s your role as a wife or girlfriend to convince your man that going on a dating website or app such as POF, Tinder, or others is not appropriate when being engaged to someone?

Did you find out that your husband has an account on one of the dating sites? Is this driving you crazy and making you wonder what you did wrong? In fact, you have all the right to be worried and angry since you gave it all to your marriage. Now, here’s your husband making a fool out of you and playing Casanova online.

Why do men in a relationship go on dating sites?

In this article, I tried to figure out all the reasons that make men join hookup apps; these are the most subtle reasons.

1. Your spouse is cheating on these dating sites

No reason makes a married man join a dating site unless he’s cheating on his wife. Probably this man has a history of cheating. But he managed to hide it from his partner. Accordingly, he couldn’t forget his old habits and couldn’t help it.

So, what’s the easiest and safest way to cheat on his wife other than going online and finding casual hookups on Tinder and others? Hence, his bride won’t find out, and she’ll keep thinking that her man is a decent faithful fellow. Thus, the guy will get off the hook, and everybody will win. The audacity of this man!

In addition to that, guys may use Snapchat, hidden Instagram accounts, Facebook, and all other social media. The best way to search for your partner online is to use Google, and even people-search engines that have more details about their social media presence.

2. Your husband has a high libido

Some men indeed have a high sex drive which makes them want to have sex all the time. However, if the wife can’t keep up with her partner, it becomes challenging and frustrating for him to stay still. Therefore, the married guy starts looking for another way to release his sexual frustration and satisfy his needs.

Consequently, he may resort to dating sites like Tinder, POF, Badoo, etc. That way, your guy will look for more secretive and private coverage since they provide plenty of options as it’s said he’ll find “plenty of fishes in the sea”.

Thus, married guys go on these popular dating sites to fulfill their sexual fantasies and have a calm and steady relationship with their beloved wives.

3. Your man is looking for hookups

If he likes you, why is he still online dating? Well, some boyfriends or even married men sign up on these dating apps to have some fun. So, they’re indeed just looking for hookups. And according to them, as long as the wife doesn’t know about it, there’s no harm in doing it. 

Moreover, these guys may have some inappropriate fantasies that they want to carry out. Of course, dating apps are the perfect place to fulfill their wishes. Hence, they join the dating pool to achieve their promiscuous needs.

4. Your husband is using you for your money

Using dating apps while in a relationship is a clear sign of infidelity, but also, it means the guy is using you for money. Unfortunately, some men and women don’t get married out of love, but because of money, they are simply gold diggers. 

Thus, your husband is maybe one of them, and he’s looking at other girls on multiple dating apps on his phone. So, he hides those relationships from you unless you have some clear cell phone hints that he’s cheating on you.

If you’re filthy rich, then your husband must have married you to enjoy the benefits of your money to lead a comfortable and prosperous life. Indeed, he’ll pretend to be a loving husband while still taking advantage of your bank account. Besides, he’ll still go on dating sites to meet and go out with other girls behind your back.

Don’t doubt yourself and start being paranoid if you actually deserve to be cheated on. No, my dear! Not a single soul deserves to be betrayed, and it’s not you who throws him into adultery. But your husband is a cheater by nature and simply doesn’t deserve you. So, please stop beating yourself up and keep your head up.

So, when you feel that your man is not into you from his heart. If you notice that what he looks for with you is just your money, then that’s one clear reason why your husband hides accounts on dating sites and uses them. He’s living a double life and hiding a secret girlfriend here and there. And probably, he’s buying them gifts with your own money.

5. Your man has an old dating account

So, we listed all the scary possibilities that may lead your guy to join a dating app. Yet, let’s take a step back here and give your husband the benefit of the doubt. In my opinion, it’s possible that your spouse used to have an active account that he used to meet girls and date. But, when he met you, and you got married, he forgot all about it and never used it again.

In other words, his dating account was left inactive, and probably he forgot his password like most of us do. So to cut it to the chase, tell him about your worries and let him explain himself.

6. Someone is impersonating your husband’s identity

Internet scamming is highly widespread in the USA. Every year millions of internet users fall victim to these scammers and lose millions of dollars.

Therefore, probably one of the fraudsters stole your husband’s data. Then, these bad guys created accounts on online dating apps using your spouse’s personal information such as his first and last name, address, phone number, and even email.

All that is just to lure women and maybe even men to get the advantage of them. That happens many times when the man is rich and well-known.

Consequently, the scammer knows for sure that many girls are on dating and hookup sites like cars and pictures with luxurious items. And if your husband is one of them, then someone else could be using his identity for bad goals and scams.

And while you’re here worried about your husband cheating on you, the poor guy has probably no single clue that he even exists on dating sites.

So here’s what you should do when you find your spouse on a dating site. First, capture the dating account and save the picture and details. Make sure you take note of the name and username of that profile. Next, search Google and see if you can see someone on that username or name. If there is a person, then see where they live and who’s the real person behind that account.

Finally, just report that fake dating account to your cybersecurity authorities or police. You can use the FBI to learn more about these issues related to dating scams. Tell them about the details you found; that’s important because the guy may have deleted that account on the site. 

Then, they’ll take the necessary procedures against the scammer behind the dating account in your husband’s name.

7. Someone is pulling a dirty joke on you or your husband

You have no idea how people could harm others out of jealousy, retaliation, hatred, or mere pranks. Clearly, there’s someone who hates to see you both happily married, he’s/she’s jealous, and they’re looking for a way to ruin your marriage. 

So, what’s the smartest plan other than putting your husband out there in the dating pool? So you would think that he’s cheating on you and make a huge deal out of it.

In addition to that, your spouse could have made some enemies in the business area. So, they just want to ruin his reputation, business, and family life. Moreover, some of your friends could be pulling a joke on you to see your reaction and laugh about it later.

Anyway, you shouldn’t panic, take deep breaths, and talk to your husband about it to figure out what’s going on. He could use POF, Zoosk, or other dating websites and forget about them in the past, or you may find other reasons.


All in all, having a married man join dating apps is something truly shady and raises lots of skepticism. But, whether we like it or not, this has become a huge dilemma nowadays. More and more married guys are using online dating websites, which really makes you question the purpose of marriage. So, make sure you look at the above tips and recommendations. You’ll get the best advice by applying these tips.

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With a team of expert writers in different domains, we spend a lot of time doing in-depth research before writing and editing, so, the reader gets the most of our tips and tricks from authors who know how to fix common issues with modern technologies.

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